Month: February 2017

Pancake Day!

I’m not quite sure why pancakes are limited to one day…

I don’t particularly like them. Stodgy bits of cooked batter, covered in sickly sweet toppings. And the mess,oh the mess! I cheated and bought ready made pancakes,got the kids to put toppings on them and said I’d try harder next year 😛

x N x

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Weightloss, Crisps, Paint, and Other Stuff

Spent nearly an hour on my exercise bike this evening. I managed to burn around 170 cals. Shame I’m now stuffing my face with chicken flavoured crisps!
I did an abnormal amount of laundry today, thanks to Miss Mouse. She’s started wiping her own poo over things 😣
She’s done this before, but we thought we’d seen the end of it. I’m dreading what her bed might look like come morning!

I painted a radiator this evening! Whoop, go me! It’s been on ‘the list’ for months. Many things are still on said list. Unfortunately I’ll be the one to do them 😦 DIY and seeing to things isn’t really the husband’s thing. Sadly.

x N x

Sleepy Monster

I’m sat in Jack’s bedroom, watching him sleep. I came in to take him downstairs and feed him. Instead I’m sat on the chair, looking at his perfect little toes on his perfect little feet. The bottom in the air and a slight sound of snoring. Watching him sleep is the most relaxed I’ve felt in a long time. I wish I could describe the love I have for him,but it’s impossible to measure love.
He’s turning 1 next month. My little baby is going to be a full year old. I’m going to enjoy this peaceful moment for as long as I can.

x N x

Not Sorry

Ok, so maybe my last blog sounded harsh to some but that’s the reality of life I’m afraid!  Don’t come to my blog expecting the perfect mum, the perfect wife, or someone who shows off how good they are at everything.  I’m no Mary Poppins. I bet you aren’t either 😉
Marriage is hard work. My husband is hard work. I’m difficult to live with, especially since I have anxiety with the occasional sprinkling of depression. I’ve never pretended to be anything more than what you see. I’m just an average 34 year old mother. I don’t want to see fake marriages, the type where both people are sooo in lurve. I don’t want to see the cookie-baking-shit-hot mums! I wanna see your imperfections. I love seeing how we’re not Stepford housewives. I love laughing over the silly mistakes we make, knowing that I’m not the only one who isn’t afraid to say “actually I’m kinda crap at this” but carries on anyway.
Keep telling the world how you’re not Supermum. My marriage really does suck, and this is my outlet. My blog. I was told the first year of marriage is the worst. It’s the time you have to adjust to it being slightly different. Not bloody wrong! Husband doesn’t see how it’s different but I do. I’m desperately wishing away this first year in the hope it really does get better.
Until then I’ll carry on writing the realities of married life, with kids.

x N x

Marriage Sucks

I debated whether I should write this,let alone post it! I need to show what life is really like,though. It isn’t all happy smiles,walks in forests with puppy dogs and holding hands.It isn’t well behaved,happy kids. It’s shit! It is screaming at each other for a full 5 minutes because for those 5 minutes you genuinely hate each other. It is kids complaining,bitching,whining. It is knowing that the person you married is a selfish pig.

My marriage is horrible.I do hate it. Since I woke up up the day after I married him I have been waiting for the fun stuff,the crazy love,the amazing feeling inside that I made the best decision ever. I’m still waiting. I don’t enjoy being married. It is more like a curse. I have lost count how many times I have suggested separation,and divorce. We have spent many nights apart due to arguments.In the 6 months I have been married I honestly cannot say I have loved a moment of it. If I could turn the clock back I’d say ”I don’t”. Some marriages are fantastic,some are OK,some are built on lies. Mine is just pure awful.

What I do know is that all marriages are hard work. I stupidly went into this thinking it shouldn’t be difficult to keep a marriage going when you love each other,but that’s just utter rubbish. It is hard work. When you spend more time wishing you hadn’t married someone then maybe it is time to quit. Nobody wants to quit,though. Nobody likes to be the failure. Not every day is terrible(when he isn’t home I feel good),but when it is always there at the back of your mind,feeling as though you just want out,then you do have to wonder if it is worth carrying on.

So,now what? I have poured my heart out on my blog about how I really feel. What do I do next? Probably the same as I always do…

Ignore it and hope it’ll just magically get better.

x N x

Awake

I’m awake before the kids! This is my quiet time, when I get to enjoy a rare peaceful cup of coffee and flick through a magazine. Except I’m in bed still, and updating blog posts! Instead of coffee I have an almost empty bottle of Lucozade that has been sat on my bedside table for three days. My magazine hasn’t been delivered yet so I’m searching Facebook for… I don’t even know what! And now I think I can hear my littlest kicking in his cot…
#MumLife

x N x

My New Toy!

No,not that!

 

I treated myself to a new steam cleaner! It is a 9-in-1 steam mop type thingy. I have already used it to clean our kitchen floor. I wish I could say I am impressed… it’s a bit crap tbh. Maybe I’m using it wrong! I was excitedly cleaning the floors,sofa,cooker,anything! I love my home gadgets. Since entering my 30s I have become much happier at home,being wife and mum.

I am now thinking that perhaps I should try treating myself to some fancy new nail polish,a new book,a bottle of Southern Comfort… *cheeky grin*

 

x N x