How Many?!

When I tell people how many children we have the response varies. Mostly it’s a look of shock. Large families are not unusual though. I can understand why some couples stick to just one or two children but we are not those couples. 
We are a step family. The children are all my biological little monsters. I had a previous relationship that resulted in a split. We used to be a family but it just wasn’t meant to be. I met the Mister before I met my ex funnily enough. A night out in the pub with a friend and he caught my eye. I won’t say love at first sight but it was definitely lust!

So,I went on to get my man many years later and have more children. It wasn’t something I’d ever planned. At first I told him my baby days are over! I should have known… 

“Don’t you have a television?!” (Yes, but The Walking Dead is only on for about an hour. Then I get bored)
“How many?!” (7 until the new one arrives. Count them.)
“Are they all yours?!” (I think so. I don’t remember stealing any children)
“You must really love sex!” (I find that one horrid)
“Any twins?” (No,all singles)
“Have you thought about getting sterilised/a vasectomy??” (Yes. Mister is going for the snip after #8 is safely in our arms)

People can also say lovely things. I recently had a lady tell me how wonderful it was for her growing up in a big family. She never felt lonely and had lots of memories of her siblings as children.
In all honesty I’m not sure what I’d do if I had just the one or two children. I need to keep busy. As much as I love my time alone and being able to relax I also cannot sit still for long. My little army of monsters keep me busy. They are an entertaining bunch!

x N x

Attempted Gardening

Today I said “hey kids! You know what’s fun? Making mummy’s garden look pretty!”. So they all cheered and dropped the handfuls of mud they were slinging around.
I’m a terrible gardener.  I do try my best,honest. I have a shed,two outdoor storage boxes and lots of ideas. I’m just no good at actually growing anything. I throw seeds and bulbs into the soil and just sort of hope for the best.
Our wedding is looming and our reception is going to be held in our garden. Quaint little tea party sort of thing. So I’m desperate to have flowers blooming. I have fixed up and painted the playhouse so it looks like a little English country cottage. Ok,so I tried to make it look like a cottage.
As a mum I kinda thought this stuff would come naturally. Motherhood would bring amazing baking skills,the ability to clean everything to a spotless shine and be an expert gardener.

Not so much.

x N x

All Systems Go!… Oh

Cooking dinner last night and I had a sudden twinge.
“Ooh,how exciting!” I say. The Mister completely ignoring my funny little breathless sounds,the pacing up and down. Finished cooking,served up,attempted to eat. Took a few mouthfuls and decided that a trip to the bathroom was needed. And another. Contractions started so cue one excited mum!
“I think this is it”, I tell the Mister.  He sends me off upstairs to sit on the birth ball. He calls work and says he’d best stay home because I’m possibly in labour. My birth partner rushes over.

Nothing else happens. No more bathroom trips or feelings of labour. Just a few odd contractions and lots of frustration. 39 weeks pregnant today and no more signs. All the excitement has turned into disappointment.  We are so ready to meet our new bundle!


Mother’s Day Here In The UK

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mamas! I hope you have been looked after by your beautiful families. Today for me has been so lovely. The Mister had breakfast in bed delivered to me(cold croissants and Tesco Finest Jam,with a luke warm vanilla coffee!). I was able to stay in bed and just catch up on reading my latest purchase for the Kindle. Ventured downstairs to find our youngest enjoying her brunch…


It’s now 3pm and the house is silent. Mister is at the park with the children while the orange one has a nap.

I’ve thoroughly loved today! No cards,flowers or chocolates.  No new mugs that I’d need to find space for in our kitchen cupboard. No fancy jewellery. Instead I had my teenagers send me beautiful messages of love.  I got to eat breakfast (it really was quite delicious) without being pestered for something. I have had some time to just relax. Bliss.

x N x

Hysterical crying Mother Post!

Today I sat down and cried. I could blame the late pregnancy hormones but it’s not that. I’m tired. I’m lonely. I’m looking after 5 children at home,educating them (more on that later), organising a wedding, seeing to housework and trying my hardest not to have a mental breakdown (anxiety sufferer. It sucks).

I cried in front of my 4 year old daughter. She hugged me. I felt a little beat of joy in my heart at that moment. She’s 4 and she’s a cow bag but at the same time she’s the sweetest kid! The Mister is working. His hours are long and he has to travel lots because of it. My friends are busy with work,kids,families…

My point is that mums cry. Whether it’s in secret when in the bathroom or in plain view of other people, we cry. We feel things. We’re not robots set to auto pilot. The days are long,the nights short. We are quite often told to “get on and deal with it”. But why should we?  I feel things like any other adult.  If I cry I’m seen as being emotional,hysterical,OTT. Why?!?!

Next time you see a mum who looks frazzled,tired,emotional or just bored give her a high 5. Say hello. Just nod and smile to acknowledge her existence. She’ll appreciate it! She may even go home and remember it when she’s sat in the bathroom wanting to cry. It might cheer her on.


x N x

Wake Up Call

6.58 Am. The time in which my eldest boy(6) came into my room and asked if he could have a bowl of my Bran Flakes.

“Mmhm ugh sure whatever.cupboard. Bowl.pffthihugdt.shhh.” I think was my reply.

I don’t do mornings. Is it bad parenting that I left him to it and pulled the covers over my head?!


8.02 AM now. I’m still in my bed. I’m conscious though so it’s a start!


x N x

Well,this is new!


I have just started a blog. No idea why! I guess it seemed like a good idea when reading through Instagram posts. Now I’m sat here and writing this I’m not so sure.

What do I say?  Who really cares? Will anyone read this?  I’m not tech savvy either so please bear with me.

Ok so, I’m Natalie. I’m 33. I have 7 children(yes,7). 38 weeks pregnant with number 8. Husband due to make an appearance August this year. Until then we’ll just refer to him as the Mister. I live in Kent. I love Italian food, Chris Hemsworth and I miss drinking wine. I swear loads. I’m shit at parenting and I think my children secretly hate me.

Ok,so maybe not completely shit at parenting. But if I can get away with cooking Jamie Oliver’s latest child friendly creation or having to brush my 4 year olds hair then I will!

If you like swearing,being realistic and spending too much money on chocolate then I do believe we’ll get along fine.

I’m off to the loo. 38 week bump and full bladder is a lethal combo.

x N x